Trust is the invisible thread weaving together our most meaningful relationships. Like a delicate Rose, it requires consistent nurturing to bloom fully. When trust flourishes, vulnerability becomes strength and authentic connections thrive.
The Anatomy of Trust
Trust builds in small, consistent moments of reliability, accountability and honesty. Think of the friend who remembers your coffee order or the colleague who credits your work. These seemingly minor actions form the soil where trust takes root.
Trust operates on both emotional and rational levels. Dr. Brené Brown's research identifies seven key elements that build trust, which she calls "BRAVING": Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault (confidentiality), Integrity, Non-judgment and Generosity.
Mindful Trust-Building
Mindfulness provides powerful tools for cultivating trust:
Presence Practice: Before important conversations, take three deep breaths while mentally saying, "I am here, I am listening, I am open."
Mindful Listening: Give others your complete attention without formulating responses or judgments.
Compassion Meditation: Extend compassion to yourself and others, especially when trust has been broken.
When Trust Fractures
We have all experienced that heart-dropping moment when trust breaks. These wounds cut very deep because they challenge our fundamental need to feel safe in our connections.
During these painful moments, EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), or tapping, can help process complex emotions.
EFT Tapping Sequence #1: Releasing Betrayal
Take a deep breath, centre yourself and begin tapping along with me.
Before You Begin:
Assess your feelings of betrayal on the Subjective Units of Distress (SUD) scale:
0Â represents feeling fully connected to your sense of betrayal with complete acceptance and honouring it.
10Â represents feeling disconnected, overwhelmed and resisting your feelings of betrayal.
Where would you place yourself right now? Take a moment to note this number. We will revisit it after the tapping to observe any shifts.
Setup Statements: Repeat the three setup statements while gently tapping on the Side of the Hand (SOH) point:
"Even though my nervous system is responding to this betrayal with pain and protection, I choose to deeply and completely accept myself and I allow myself to feel safe in my body right now, accepting all my emotions as valid messengers."
"Even though this betrayal has triggered core beliefs about my judgment and self-worth, I choose to deeply and completely accept myself and I am open to seeing these thoughts as separate from my true self and I choose self-compassion as I process these feelings."
"Even though trust feels impossible right now, I choose to deeply and completely accept myself and I acknowledge that my brain is doing its job to protect me and I give myself permission to move forward at my own pace."
Tapping Points:
Top of Head (TOH) Point:
Located directly on the crown of the head.
o "This specific betrayal is blocking my energy system."
Eyebrow (EB) Point:
Located at the start of the eyebrow, near the bridge of the nose.
o "The pain in my energy system from having trusted someone."
Side of Eye (SE) Point:
Located on the bone at the outer corner of the eye.
o "I didn't expect this disruption to my emotional freedom."
Under Eye (UE) Point:
Located on the bone directly under the eye.
o "My broken trust is causing this energy block."
Under the Nose (UN) Point:
Located between the nose and upper lip.
o "The feeling of safety that has been disrupted."
Chin (CP) Point:
Located in the crease between the lower lip and chin.
o "All these complicated feelings stuck in my energy system."
Collarbone (CB) Point:
Located just below the collarbone, about 2.5cm (1 inch) from the base of the throat.
o "This specific breach of trust that I am now releasing."
Under the Arm (UA) Point:
Located on the side of the body, about 10 cm (4 inches) below the armpit.
o "I honour how I feel as I release this energy disruption."
Take a deep breath and let it out. Reassess your SUD level. Notice if you have moved toward greater acceptance and connection with your emotions around the betrayal. Repeat as needed until you feel a shift toward greater ease. Even though betrayal feels emotional, it is a disruption in your body's energy system that we can tap away - one aspect at a time.
The Courage to Trust Again
Rebuilding trust requires tremendous courage - stepping back into vulnerability after being hurt, like a gardener returning to tend Roses despite being pricked by thorns.
Research by Dr. John Gottman found that successful relationship repair after trust violations depends on the injured party's willingness to risk vulnerability again, combined with consistent trustworthy behaviour from the other person.
EFT Tapping Sequence #2: Finding Courage to Trust
Setup Statements: Repeat the three setup statements while gently tapping on the Side of the Hand (SOH) point:
"Even though I have this fear of trusting again, I choose to deeply and completely accept myself anyway and I acknowledge my natural desire for connection and my capacity for discernment."
"Even though part of me wants to build these protective walls around my heart, I choose to deeply and completely accept myself and I recognise that true emotional freedom requires vulnerability."
"Even though these past experiences have disrupted my energy system around trust, I choose to deeply and completely accept myself and I give my energy system permission to rebalance as I move forward with both caution and wisdom."
Tapping Points:
Top of Head (TOH) Point:
        Located directly on the crown of the head.
            o "This specific fear of being hurt again is blocking my energy."
Eyebrow (EB) Point:
Located at the start of the eyebrow, near the bridge of the nose.
    o "It feels safer to keep my guard up and maintain this energy disruption."
Side of Eye (SE) Point:
Located on the bone at the outer corner of the eye.
   o "This fear of vulnerability that is stuck in my energy system."
Under Eye (UE) Point:
Located on the bone directly under the eye.
   o "What if I get hurt again and create another energy block?"
Under the Nose (UN) Point:
Located between the nose and upper lip.
   o "This feeling of danger is disrupting my energy meridians."
Chin (CP) Point:
Located in the crease between the lower lip and chin.
   o "This wisdom I have gained from these experiences can help restore my energy balance."
Collarbone (CB) Point:
Located just below the collarbone, about 2.5cm (1 inch) from the base of the throat.
    o "I can tap into trusting myself first and clearing this energy pathway."
Under the Arm (UA) Point:
Located on the side of the body, about 10 cm (4 inches) below the armpit.
    o "I completely accept my ability to open up at my own pace as my energy system rebalances."
Take a few deep breaths and release. Now, tune in to that fear of trusting again. Is it less intense? If you are still feeling any charge, tap another round, focusing specifically on what aspect of trust troubles you most. These tapping points clear energy blocks, restoring your natural emotional balance. Your body knows how to recover once these pathways are open.
Nurturing Trust Daily
Like tending to a Rose garden, cultivating trust in our relationships requires daily attention. Here are practices that strengthen trust's delicate petals:
Keep your word – Even in small matters, doing what you say builds reliability.
Communicate openly – Share your thoughts, feelings and intentions with honesty and compassion.
Respect boundaries – Honour the limits others set, showing you value them.
Admit mistakes – Accountability demonstrates integrity and reinforces that you value the relationship over being right.
Extend grace – Remember that everyone is human and will occasionally disappoint you unintentionally.
EFT Tapping Sequence #3: Strengthening Self-Trust
Setup Statements: Repeat the three setup statements while gently tapping on the Side of the Hand (SOH) point:
"Even though I have these doubts about myself and my judgment, I choose to deeply and completely accept myself and tune into my intuition and inner wisdom."
"Even though these past mistakes have disrupted my energy system and made me question my ability to trust myself, I choose to deeply and completely accept myself with all of my experiences and I recognise I am clearing these blocks with each new learning."
"Even though trusting myself feels difficult and creates this energy disruption, I choose to deeply and completely accept myself and I acknowledge that my inner guidance system is worth my attention and respect."
Tapping Points:
Top of Head (TOH) Point:
        Located directly on the crown of the head.
            o "These specific doubts about my judgment block my energy."
Eyebrow (EB) Point:
Located at the start of the eyebrow, near the bridge of the nose.
    o "The mistakes I have made that disrupt my energy system."
Side of Eye (SE) Point:
Located on the bone at the outer corner of the eye.
   o "The times I have ignored my intuition and created this energy block."
Under Eye (UE) Point:
Located on the bone directly under the eye.
   o "My desire to trust myself more completely and clear these meridians."
Under the Nose (UN) Point:
Located between the nose and upper lip.
   o "My body knows the truth even when my energy is disrupted."
Chin (CP) Point:
Located in the crease between the lower lip and chin.
   o "I am learning to listen within and balance my energy."
Collarbone (CB) Point:
Located just below the collarbone, about 2.5cm (1 inch) from the base of the throat.
    o "All these experiences are giving me wisdom and clearing my energy pathways."
Under the Arm (UA) Point:
Located on the side of the body, about 10 cm (4 inches) below the armpit.
    o "I completely accept my ability to trust myself and navigate relationships as my energy system rebalances."
Mindful Moment Practice for Trust
When trust feels shaky, try this 2-minute mindfulness practice:
Find a comfortable position and close your eyes.
Place one hand on your heart and one on your belly.
Breathe deeply, feeling the rise and fall of your body.
As you inhale, silently say, "I listen."
As you exhale, silently say, "I trust."
Continue for 2 minutes, allowing yourself to explore what trust feels like in your body.
Finish by setting a simple intention for one trust-building action to take today.
The Blooming Garden
When we actively cultivate trust - in ourselves and our relationships - we create gardens where connection can flourish. Trust becomes the foundation for intimacy, collaboration, growth and joy.
Remember the Rose. Its journey from tight bud to open bloom isn't instantaneous but unfolds gradually with proper care. Your capacity for trust works the same way - with patience, tenderness and courage, it will open again, perhaps even more magnificently than before.
Your Trust Journey Starts Now
Choose one relationship - with yourself or someone else - and commit to a single trust-nurturing action this week. Perhaps try the EFT tapping sequences above, have that difficult but honest conversation you have been avoiding, or practice daily mindfulness.
Share your trust-building journey with others who might be struggling. Comment below with your experiences or questions about rebuilding trust.
Remember, every magnificent Rose garden begins with tending to a single bloom. Your journey to deeper, more trusting connections starts with one mindful step today. 🌹 ✨
References
Brown, B. (2018). Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. Random House.
Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony Books.
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