Have you ever noticed how a breakup can feel like someone dimmed all the lights in your world? Like a Rose bush stripped bare in winter, you might feel exposed, vulnerable, cut down to your roots. Suddenly, that inner voice gets louder – the one questioning your worth, replaying memories like a broken record, whispering "not enough" in the quiet hours of the night. I have been there and so have my clients. Here is what I have realised after working with people recovering from heartbreak: the path back to light always leads through self-love.
When a relationship ends, we often make a crucial mistake. We look at the empty space where someone used to be and think that is where love went. Here is the transformative truth: love didn't leave when they did. Just as a pruned Rose contains within its roots everything needed to bloom again, the capacity for love – deep, nurturing love – has always lived within you.
This is where Tapping (Emotional Freedom Techniques - EFT) becomes your faithful companion on the journey back to self. Like gentle spring rain nourishing dormant roots, each tapping point awakens your natural capacity to wellness. By combining gentle physical touch with emotional acknowledgment, we can literally rewire our body's stress response to heartbreak. Let me share three powerful tapping sequences that have helped clients move from grief to grace:
Tapping Sequence 1: Acknowledging and Honouring Your Pain
Take a deep breath, centre yourself and begin tapping along with me. This first sequence is designed to help you acknowledge your pain and hold space for it.
Before You Begin:
On a standard 0-to-10 Subjective Units of Distress (SUD) scale:
0 represents feeling fully connected to your pain with complete acceptance and honouring it.
10 represents feeling disconnected, overwhelmed and resisting your pain.
Where would you place yourself right now? Take a moment to note this number. We will revisit it after the tapping to observe any shifts.
Setup Statements: Repeat the three setup statements while tapping on the Side of the Hand (SOH) point:
“Even though my heart feels broken, I deeply and completely accept myself and how I feel.”
“Even though my heart feels shattered into a thousand pieces and I can barely breathe sometimes, I deeply and completely accept all of these feelings.”
“Even though I feel lost and empty without [insert name], like a part of me is missing, I honour my pain and accept myself exactly where I am."
Tapping Points:
Begin tapping through the following acupoints while saying the associated phrases.
Top of Head (TOH) Point:
Located directly on the crown of the head.
o “This pain feels overwhelming.”
Eyebrow (EB) Point:
Located at the start of the eyebrow, near the bridge of the nose.
o “I keep thinking about [insert name].”
Side of Eye (SE) Point:
Located on the bone at the outer corner of the eye.
o “I miss what we had.”
Under Eye (UE) Point:
Located on the bone directly under the eye.
o “It hurts so much.”
Under the Nose (UN):
Located between the nose and upper lip.
o “All these painful feelings.”
Chin (CP) Point:
Located in the crease between the lower lip and chin.
o “I am willing to be gentle with myself.”
Collarbone (CB) Point:
Located just below the collarbone, about 2.5 cm (1 inch) from the base of the throat.
o “I am allowing myself to feel this.”
Under the Arm (UA) Point:
Located on the side of the body, about 10 cm (4 inches) below the armpit.
o “And I am still worthy of love.”
Take a deep breath in and out. Notice how your body feels. Repeat the tapping round as needed until you feel a shift. Check your initial score: has your connection with your pain shifted?
This is the first step in transforming your relationship with pain - acknowledging and honouring it.
Tapping Sequence 2: Releasing Self-Blame
Now let us tap on releasing self-blame while gently shifting towards self-compassion.
Setup Statements: Repeat the three setup statements while tapping on the Side of the Hand (SOH) point:
“Even though I keep thinking I wasn't enough, I choose to be kind to myself.”
“Even though I keep replaying every mistake I made and blaming myself for the relationship ending, I choose to hold myself with compassion and understanding.”
“Even though I carry this weight of what-ifs and if-onlys, wishing I could have changed the past, I deeply and completely accept who I am and choose to embrace myself with kindness.”
Tapping Points
Begin tapping through the following acupoints while saying the associated phrases.
Top of Head (TOH) Point:
Located directly on the crown of the head.
o “Maybe if I had been different.”
Eyebrow (EB) Point:
Located at the start of the eyebrow, near the bridge of the nose.
o “All these regrets.”
Side of Eye (SE) Point:
Located on the bone at the outer corner of the eye.
o “Feeling like I failed.”
Under Eye (UE) Point:
Located on the bone directly under the eye.
o “These thoughts of not being enough.”
Under the Nose (UN):
Located between the nose and upper lip.
o “What if I was always enough?”
Chin (CP) Point:
Located in the crease between the lower lip and chin
o “What if this isn't about my worth?”
Collarbone (CB) Point:
Located just below the collarbone, about 2.5 cm (1 inch) from the base of the throat.
o “I am choosing to feel my value.”
Under the Arm (UA) Point:
Located on the side of the body, about 10 cm (4 inches) below the armpit.
o “I am worthy, just as I am.”
Remember to take deep, gentle breaths between sequences. Notice how your body feels, how the intensity of emotions might shift. Like a Rose gradually unfurling its petals, some people experience immediate relief, while others find the effect builds gradually with regular practice.
Tapping Sequence 3: Gently Invite Self-Love
Now let us tap on gently inviting self-love without forcing it.
Setup Statements: Repeat the three setup statements while tapping on the Side of the Hand (SOH) point:
“Even though part of me is still hurting, I choose to open my heart to self-love.”
“Even though part of me wants to close my heart and protect it from ever being hurt again, I deeply and completely accept my need to feel safe while opening to self-love.”
“Even though these painful feelings make it hard to love myself right now, I honour where I am and choose to embrace all parts of me - even the hurt parts.”
Tapping Points
Begin tapping through the following acupoints while saying the associated phrases.
Top of Head (TOH) Point:
Located directly on the crown of the head.
o “I am cherished love.”
Eyebrow (EB) Point:
Located at the start of the eyebrow, near the bridge of the nose.
o “I choose to love myself fully.”
Side of Eye (SE) Point:
Located on the bone at the outer corner of the eye.
o “I am complete on my own.”
Under Eye (UE) Point:
Located on the bone directly under the eye.
o “My heart is capable of deep love.”
Under the Nose (UN):
Located between the nose and upper lip.
o “Starting with loving myself.”
Chin (CP) Point:
Located in the crease between the lower lip and chin
o “I am worthy of love.”
Collarbone (CB) Point:
Located just below the collarbone, about 2.5 cm (1 inch) from the base of the throat.
o “I am enough, just as I am.”
Under the Arm (UA) Point:
Located on the side of the body, about 10 cm (4 inches) below the armpit.
o “I am love.”
Take another deep breath and feel into your body. Notice any shifts - even subtle ones. You are learning to heal a broken💗which is also a scared invitation - an opportunity to rebuild your relationship with yourself on a foundation of unconditional love. Each tap is a reminder that you are worthy, you are whole and you are deeply, inherently lovable.
When you find yourself caught in moments of loneliness or self-doubt, especially during emotionally charged times, return to these sequences. Let them be your gentle reminder that the most important love story of your life is the one you share with yourself.
Your💗isn't broken – it is breaking open to hold even more love than before. And this time, that love starts with you.
Ready to begin your tapping journey? Start with just five minutes a day. Your 💗 will thank you.
Remember: You are not missing love – you ARE love. Like a Rose in full bloom, your radiance and worth are woven into the very fabric of who you are. That is something no ending can ever take away.
Ready to transform your heartbreak into wellness? Your journey to wholeness begins with a single tap. Take 5 minutes today to nurture your inner garden with these tapping sequences. Feel your roots grow stronger and your💗 unfold into its most magnificent blooming.
Your truest, radiant self is waiting to bloom and sparkle. Shall we begin?🌹✨
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